Disgruntled Scientist Comment on Poorly Aimed "Moonshot"
Marketers have driven scientist out of labs and into animation. I interviewed fictional characters to find out where science went wrong.
Dilbert: (Engineer): "I was originally thinking of space travel, but the guys from accounting felt rectal vaccines would be cheaper and marketing went with it, That stuff should not be taken internally..."
Pinky (Neuroscientist): "Nuclear aerial radio frequencies can affect the brain, they can make people smart or nuts depending on the realities they are shown. We should be careful marketing fear, because we sell ourselves things we don't want to by. Having cancer is something people pay a lot for, yet no one seems to want it."
Michelangelo (Evolutionary biologist): "Mutagen can be dangerous, we should reduce our exposure. I'm more than just a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle because I was named after a guy who used science to measure every inch of the human body and figured out how to create artwork far more realistic than anything anyone had seen before. Michelangelo's statue of David is a long standing tribute to novel perfection. King David was said to have defeated Goliath a giant as a child with just a simple rock. Attempts to perfect the human form and create a longer lasting pizza cause metabolic problems because people adapt to the environment. David's pizza might seem radical today because we perfected the human form without "Enriched Wheat Flour" "Citric acid" or "Vitamin a Palmitate".
Dr. Who (Microbiologist): "Correlation does not equal causation, stop slandering microbes. Maybe they are just there to help. Horton Heard a lot of who's. Without tiny who's you couldn't even survive. Please don't judge us too quickly. If you want to prevent who's from causing trouble balance the environment. Germicide is genocide. Be careful, making changes can throw things off balance"
Little Black Sambo (Marketer): "Sometimes marketing gets mixed in with science "Sambo, Sambo whatcha gonna do dido". I sold a lot of pancakes, but people said I was too racist and took me off the air."
Humpty Dumpty (Physicist): "When science has a great fall such as promoting hate speech we can't just sweep things under the rug. It has been commonplace for industries to blame immigrants and minorities for problems they caused. This is still going on right in public schools where unscientific questions about race are being asked. Barack Obama proves a lack of race showing adaptations from all 4 of the races mentioned on page 2 of "Myers a General History" book from 1902 showing a white person with 7 Negro captives. Children are still taught to view some races as a polluting factors, instead of recognizing Asians, Blacks, Aryans and Jews are equally adapted to local environments without need for the production of arbitrary statistics. The red shift causes people to look darker farther away, darker people are simply adapted to take a bit more sun. Liberty to choose variables for all people is the important thing, we don't need to ask a bunch of questions, just let people do what they want, regardless of labeling."
Steven Urkel (Teachers Aid): "Did I do that?"
Guy from accounting (accountant): ""Moonshots" was a great idea, but selling functional products people want is expensive and we often lose repeat customers."
Guy from marketing (Marketer): ""Moonshots" are a great product 90% of the people who get "moonshots", never get colon cancer. With a nearly 5% chance of getting colon cancer why risk going unprotected?"
Dilbert: (Engineer): "I was originally thinking of space travel, but the guys from accounting felt rectal vaccines would be cheaper and marketing went with it, That stuff should not be taken internally..."
Pinky (Neuroscientist): "Nuclear aerial radio frequencies can affect the brain, they can make people smart or nuts depending on the realities they are shown. We should be careful marketing fear, because we sell ourselves things we don't want to by. Having cancer is something people pay a lot for, yet no one seems to want it."
Michelangelo (Evolutionary biologist): "Mutagen can be dangerous, we should reduce our exposure. I'm more than just a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle because I was named after a guy who used science to measure every inch of the human body and figured out how to create artwork far more realistic than anything anyone had seen before. Michelangelo's statue of David is a long standing tribute to novel perfection. King David was said to have defeated Goliath a giant as a child with just a simple rock. Attempts to perfect the human form and create a longer lasting pizza cause metabolic problems because people adapt to the environment. David's pizza might seem radical today because we perfected the human form without "Enriched Wheat Flour" "Citric acid" or "Vitamin a Palmitate".
Dr. Who (Microbiologist): "Correlation does not equal causation, stop slandering microbes. Maybe they are just there to help. Horton Heard a lot of who's. Without tiny who's you couldn't even survive. Please don't judge us too quickly. If you want to prevent who's from causing trouble balance the environment. Germicide is genocide. Be careful, making changes can throw things off balance"
Little Black Sambo (Marketer): "Sometimes marketing gets mixed in with science "Sambo, Sambo whatcha gonna do dido". I sold a lot of pancakes, but people said I was too racist and took me off the air."
Humpty Dumpty (Physicist): "When science has a great fall such as promoting hate speech we can't just sweep things under the rug. It has been commonplace for industries to blame immigrants and minorities for problems they caused. This is still going on right in public schools where unscientific questions about race are being asked. Barack Obama proves a lack of race showing adaptations from all 4 of the races mentioned on page 2 of "Myers a General History" book from 1902 showing a white person with 7 Negro captives. Children are still taught to view some races as a polluting factors, instead of recognizing Asians, Blacks, Aryans and Jews are equally adapted to local environments without need for the production of arbitrary statistics. The red shift causes people to look darker farther away, darker people are simply adapted to take a bit more sun. Liberty to choose variables for all people is the important thing, we don't need to ask a bunch of questions, just let people do what they want, regardless of labeling."
Steven Urkel (Teachers Aid): "Did I do that?"
Guy from accounting (accountant): ""Moonshots" was a great idea, but selling functional products people want is expensive and we often lose repeat customers."
Guy from marketing (Marketer): ""Moonshots" are a great product 90% of the people who get "moonshots", never get colon cancer. With a nearly 5% chance of getting colon cancer why risk going unprotected?"
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